Most human males are predestined by their chromosomal endowment to behave the way they do without regard to conscious thought. It is involuntary and unintentional action. In almost all societies, males are conditioned from an early age to become subservient and helpless before females. Some villains and their minions exude gorgeosity, ooze sex appeal, and gush carnality in a way that emphasizes the seductions of evil and plays upon the urge to comply with even unreasonable demands in the face of the onslaught. This is the not-so-secret bit of knowledge you can use to lead them to utter destruction.
- Vulnerabilities. It is very important to determine the content of your target's affection map consists of. Is it just any sort of women? women of certain groups? youths or children? animals? other men? inanimate objects? Valuable time can be wasted trying to apply the wrong sorts of inducements to a man one is trying to seduce.
- Make the approach. Do not overthink this. There is no need to avoid being unsubtle or crass - oftentimes the target will take this kind of come on as a matter of course, trusting in their own instincts to lead them to the inevitably wrong choice.
- Sweet talk. Raw sex appeal is not enough. Flattery and insincerity are also needed, both in one’s speech, but also in the area of cosmetics.
- String the mark along. Unless you are in a great hurry, it is usually good to prolong the agonizing process, in order set the hook more firmly. Apply Skinnerian conditioning techniques to reward the mortal when they become more enmeshed in your scheme.
- Extract your price. When the victim is hopelessly besotted, you are free to require them to hand over the item of value, divulge the secret, take action contrary to their interest, or simply debase himself for your own amusement. If you have done your job well, the mark will have no awareness of what has been done.
Strokes of genius
- Music hath charms. Studies show that the right soundtrack makes a man’s mind over 80% more conducive toward seduction upon average. See if you can determine your mark's taste in fine tunes, and put on something slow and insinuating while you put on something slow and insinuating.
- Have a taste. Food works, but powerful drugs are quicker. See whether you can trick the guy into sampling the local fare you have thoughtfully prepared.
- Beyond the human plan. When auditioning for sexily distracting minions, do not overlook the possibilities presented by cute buxom alien girls, including those of unorthodox coloration. (Cute buxom monster girls fall also into this category, for our purposes.) Numerous examples from literature and the media demonstrate that these can be both confusingly sinister to men of science and devastatingly effective to the unprepared in general.
Traps for mere fools
- Bored to death. Take special preparations if your victim is a man who has been mated for a long time and is likely jaded and inattentive. You may need to prepare the ground first to reduce him to a more easily seduced state, whether that be with a nice bottle of something old or a small taste of finer things.
- A little bit too perfect. If your target is smooth and unruffled despite your heartiest exertions, suspect an ersatz humanoid. Check for obvious mold marks, electrical jacks, any slight shakiness or hesitancy of movement suggesting that the mark is not subject to the vagaries of hormone spikes. You may need to send up a lissome android gal or guy to close the deal instead.
- Save on material. You probably have your army outfitted in the utmost in body armor and carrying all the hottest weaponry to accomplish their mission. Your sexy shock troops, in contrast, function best deprived of such burdens, even when operating within the area of hostilities. Achieving the correct custom-made boundary straining alluring minion attire is an art that can only be understood by a few fashion designers adept in appealing directly to the base subconscious level of your adversaries, not an armorer who dabbles in skimpy costumes part-time.
Precious and needful
- Pheremones. These may be administered in the form of the traditional body spray or wafted through ventilation ducts, depending on the size of the population you wish to affect.
- Bachelorette pad. Deep inside your lair, in a cozy spot, if possible.
- Corsets. Spandex in all its forms makes the process go smoother.
- Flattering words. Delivered with sincerity, of course.
- How to interest young people in evil
- How to peddle evil products
- How to serve man
- How to make the world live as one
- How to get rid of a corpse
- How to rock an evil wardrobe
- How to serve man
- How to cast giant holograms of yourself
- How to break up with someone
- How to control the governments of the world
- How to kill people with a train when you are out of rope
- How to make the voices of your victims stop
- How to tickle
- How to prank your adversaries
- How to betray your master
- How to build a head collection on a budget
- How to lead barbarians to their doom
- How to give everyone their heart's desire
- How to sleep in peace
- How to worship an evil god
- How to possess eternal youth
- How to play the bagpipes
- How to reign over love slaves
- How to entertain zombies
- How to earn money part-time
- How to issue an ultimatum
- How to display a mastery of wine
- How to craft a backstory
- How to quote from Shakespeare
- How to lie to someone's face
- How to make an evil sabayon
- How to make the world live as one
- How to run a restaurant
- How to send dinosaurs rampaging
- How to steal an ocean liner
- Image credit © Dmitrijs Dmitrijevs | Dreamstime.com
- Image credit Seduction by Mademoiselle Antonova
- Image credit Jen's Strange Eyes by Bob.Fornal