Few things are more feared on the battlefield than a well armed and disciplined fighting force made up of mutant killers with supernatural abilities and implacable animal vigor. To achieve this harmonious situation, however, has often eluded the evil human masterminds of the past, often because of inadequate appreciation of the psycho-social aspects of the human-metahuman interaction. The advice given here is intended to help the non-shapechanging leader of a monstrous fighting force negotiate some of the sticking points that can come up in the relationship and find the best way to excel under these circumstances.
- Engage a were-group. Diligent research can turn up one or more groups of were-beasts who might be interested in participating inside your organization, whether to strike back at their enemies or to gain some monetary compensation. Evaluate these according to military capabilities, excitability, need for autonomy, and desire for loot in order to make up your mind whether they can fill a positive piece of the puzzle). Determine whether they are voluntary shapechangers, involuntary shapechangers (and whether the episodes of shapechanging are periodic or not), or permanent man-beast hybrids. An evil supervillain who runs a breeding operation to produce their own were-army can skip this step.
- Terms. Come to an clear agreement as you would with any other allies or autonomous fighting forces, offering items or actions of value to the were-forces in exchange for their sworn loyalty. The skill with which you craft the wording of this contract will determine how much confidence you can place in your beastly co-workers when the crunch comes. Make sure that you retain your copy signed in blood by all the interested parties.
- Provisions. With weird allies come weird appetites, which your army quartermasters must by all means sate in a controlled fashion, to reduce the temptation to forage among your other henchmen. It is advisable to set up separate mess areas for them in order to eliminate the mental trauma that might be inflicted. Once hostilities have been engaged, however, you may make exemptions to this regimen or go so far as to lift it completely.
- Training. Friend or foe identification, bloodlust impact drills, unconventional weapons and tactics coordination, all of these serve a vital purpose during combined maneuvers and need to be acquired by both forces as learned skills prior to deployment. Ideally a combat veteran experienced with the tactics in question would be the one to pass the knowledge along, but for very unusual circumstances this may not always be possible.
- Morale-building. Just as human troops gain confidence in their abilities when they have the support of their superiors, were-army fighters need to receive recognition and positive reinforcement to keep them on the desired path as part of your mission objectives. These can take the form of rank and promotion, privileges such as blood rations or living prey, or supernatural boons of some sort.
Strokes of genius
- Specific cases. Werewolves are the most often encountered types of army irregular, but there are other varieties which can serve interesting roles as well. Werebears are best used during summertime maneuvers and are well adapted for clutch and grab types of missions. Wererats are superb in a decaying urban environment and can infiltrate compounds which are highly resistant to human attacks. Amphibious operations benefit from the participation of werebeavers particularly when an impoundment is called for.
- Nocturnal operations. Night vision goggles are in many cases but a poor imitation of the the exquisitely sensitive perceptual abilities of many were-creatures, making nighttime maneuvers a natural fit. Send a squad or two of glowing-eyed commandos into the heart of the enemy stronghold and see what fun ensues.
- Snatch and grab. Shapeshifting werebeasts (as opposed to the hybrids which are permanently in a single form) have the advantage of a built-in disguise ability, entering the scene of a caper under one appearance while making a getaway under the other. A few dry runs under this scenario will reveal whether there are any corresponding disadvantages to work out, for instance, temporary amnesia or a disinclination to run around naked.
- Patrol duty. With few exceptions, the enhanced animal endowment of your were-troops will give them an instinctual drive to protect the den/nest/colony from attackers, making them the ideal perimeter guards for your high-value targets. Inform your non-shapechanging minions of this in advance so they will not inadvertently fall afoul of the were-sentry’s one rule of engagement: to tear out the throat of any who approach.
Traps for mere fools
- Wolvesbane. Or henbane, as applicable.
- Silver arrows. These, silver daggers, swords, letter openers, and nail clippers are not only potential hazards to the were-folk but is perceived by them as a slight.
- Vacuum cleaners. They hate those things.
- Exploding curse bombs.
- Speciesist jokes.
Precious and needful
- Flea collars.
- Shock collars.
- Fresh meat. In a pinch, kibble.
- Leather gloves.
- Silver-lined T-shirt.
- How to clone an army
- How to get rid of a corpse
- How to serve man
- How to understand warrior maidens
- How to lead barbarians to their doom
- How to defeat merfolk in battle
- How to breed monsters
- How to get started with giant robots
- How to recruit and retain henchmen
- How to roll with a gang of energy beings
- How to get apes to accept you as their leader
- How to control dungeon odors
- Image credit Twilight Werewolf Kibble Recipe Labels by y enslavedbyfaeries
- Image credit living hand to paw by SuperFantastic
- Image credit Just Finished Makeup by crowolf
Created by: . Last Modification: Sunday 14 of November, 2010 13:16:13 EST by .