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How to destroy the planet

****It fell from spaceUsually you should possess power on Kardashev level II (external link) or better before you would consider taking this task on.

Much has been written on the subject of destroying the planet elsewhere (external link), but too little attention has been paid to the practical fact that utter destruction down to the atomic level is quite literally overkill for the practical villain. If one simply removes the crust of the planet, leaving only a seething mass of magma, or if one seeds every square centimeter with lethal levels of gamma radiation, most will agree that this is no longer a desirable place to live and will write the place off as a loss. If your evil aims can be satisfied by cleaving the planet from pole to pole into two halves like a walnut, without even having to take the trouble to separate the pieces, then as a matter of simplicity, that is what you should seek to do, and leave the purists to quibble about whether you have destroyed it planet or merely ruined it for everyone.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Narrow it down. What realms do you need to destroy: biosphere, oceans, continents, the whole damn thing?
  2. Softening up the residents. War, Death, Pestilence, Famine, and Financial Crisis.Munt Spaceship
  3. Energy requirements. This is very nearly the sole consideration if your aim is to Blow It All Up, but also important if all you need to do is to boil the oceans or suck away the air. Many villains have found that it is extremely hard to break the laws of nature, and chief among these laws is that the energy needed to accomplish something big all has to come from somewhere.
  4. Keep a safe distance. When it gets down to crunch time (perhaps literally), make very sure that you have found a way to preside over the festivities from a place where you will not be molested, and that you will be able to take yourself and your entourage afterwards to a place of your liking. For if you do your job properly, there won't be anything left of where you came from.

! Strokes of genius

  • Plan to be opposed. Nothing truly worthwhile comes of its own accord, and the same is true of things which are utterly devoid of virtue as well. Unless you have both a hermetic level of security and a staff which is inclined to obey your every whim without question, a plan to destroy everything is certain to attract a certain level of hostility. Do not imagine that you are the only being with the requisite level of power to impose your deadly will; it is almost never the case, and it completely overlooks the possibility of a rogue inside element. So test your plans, make contingencies for opposition coming at the worst possible moment, and press on in hopes that you will not be required to labor against a wholly unexpected enemy.
  • Don't forget your getaway. The only times it really makes sense to immolate yourself along with the planet you are standing on is in the case of extreme and unquenchable hatred of all things or in the case of astonishing, untreatable madness (which is nearly the same thing). If you do not fall into these categories, you will almost certainly not want to be too very close when you pull the trigger. Though it is tempting to get a good eyeful of the glorious destruction you are bringing about, consider whether you might be able to come up with a workable alternative involving remote videocameras or seeing stones or something.

!! Traps for mere fools

Fantastic 4 - Rise of the silver surfer
  • Advance warning. The most gratifying effect is the amount of hysteria this produces, which some villains find irresistable. But if you are determined to do it, do not give too much, unless you are very, very sure your position is unassailable.
  • No Plan B. If your planet-buster is a bust, you need to be able to do something nearly as bad, or else you will look ridiculous. For God's sake, blow up a freakin' moon at least.

+ Precious and needful

  • Giant laser.
  • Mass drivers.
  • Antimatter and lots of it
  • Broadcast media campaign. (to let the inhabitants know of their imminent peril)
  • Planet and star charts. (for your next base of operations)

Imperial Star Destroyer

Further plotting

Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Wednesday 23 of September, 2009 16:53:24 EDT by CapellaNovafyre.

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