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How to clone an army

****The advantages of a biological army as opposed to an entirely mechanized one - not as sensitive to commodity prices, adaptability to varied campaign environments, it is more convincing when they bow down to worship you, etc.

One amusing thing you can do is to make all the troops clones of yourself, with identical looks, dress, etc. This will make it hard for your foes to know exactly who to target as being in charge. Careful with free will, though, as you don't want one of your random clones to seize the reins of power and, through confusion, prevail over you. One should not make this one's only line of defense, but it might be worth considering.

Many have wanted to raise an undead zombie army - which is to be sure a fine aspiration - but in such matters it is advisable to consult an expert on the subject first, a person who has actually had experience raising such a force. That person will probably impress upon you how zombies are notoriously difficult to impress as rank and file soldiers, and that a better use of them would be as irregulars (highly irregulars) trailing the main army and sowing chaos and terror.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Bloodlines. Acquire good genetic stock as the basis of your standard soldier: strength, height (not too extreme). Sample military geniuses from the past, champions of legend. Create your own from scratch. The resulting army will be only as good as the starting genome you use.
  2. Hire or cultivate your cloning staff. These are highly skilled and technical minions? who will turn your genestock into living and breathing organisms. Unlike most other hirelings, these have special considerations when it comes to security - don't let them create a master race that you do not control.
  3. Set up logistics. Vats, monitoring devices, pens, food and waste handling. Wombs or incubators?
  4. Extra-biological enhancements. Sensory tweaks, strength and endurance boosts, resistance to your toxic and pestilential agents: these are all a given. But seriously consider adding something that keeps their feet from smelling bad (trust me on this).
  5. Train, train, train. You don't want a thousand damp teenagers with empty intellects (insert your own high school joke here), you need to hammer them into an elite and loyal fighting force to do your will. Accelerate the training as much as you can: fighting, communication, discipline, hierarchy. Cull out the rejects, lest they get ideas about becoming a force to oppose you.
  6. Keep detailed notes. There is nothing worse than creating the ideal soldier, having him killed by some silly mishap, and then not knowing how to whip up another dozen just like him. A simple recipe file may do for small operations, or you can upgrade to a simple database operation.
  7. Set up the chain of command. This is not a one-man operation; you are the Evil Lord, but the army relies on the regulations that you dictate as shaping every action of your underlings.

! Strokes of genius

  • Social conditioning. Even when physically trained to be efficient fighters, they still must have that bond between squadmates that will lead them to lay down their lives for one another, either when opposing your adversaries or when ordered to on one of your cruel whims. Use operant conditioning (external link) and other psychological techniques to impose your structure on the raw material. The advantage you have is that your unique role in loco parentis will not allow any others to gainsay any procedures, however suspect, on your army.
  • There will be sergeants. Drill the army to perfect their skills prior to live action. Wargames, low-level conflict maneuvers, gladiatorial exercises will inspire excellence and will weed out the weak.

!! Traps for mere foolsArmy guys

  • Free will. Try to keep this notion away from your clone army at all cost. Once it starts to spread, it is very costly to eradicate, oftentimes requiring the liquidation of a considerable amount of your hard-earned human capital. Some in the field consider that mindless zombie armies have peculiar advantages on this score.
  • Making connections. Communication is paramount for the operation of a large army. If you equip your footsoldiers with transceivers, make sure these are not easily extracted and turned into spy devices by your foes. The link possessed by a low-ranking clone soldier should not be able to transmit all the way up to the marshals in the field but will have to pass through the chain of command you set up. Consider compartmentalizing communications into cells, so that if one group is compromised, other battle groups will be intact and will require tokens of trust before following orders transmitted from other cadres.
  • Do not discount the trappings. Uniforms, insignia, medals and decorations can all add to the esprit de corps of your clone army. A lieutenant will likely be well pleased to receive a ribbon made of a fragment of the deathless Spear of Num-Chuk?, not knowing that it is just a bit of sheet metal. But draw the line at ashtrays, which just look cheap and tacky now that nobody uses them anymore.

+ Precious and needful

  • Vats. (these can be reused, if you wash them out thoroughly, using lots of bleach)
  • Diapers, immunization, schooling. (if your army goes through normal developmental stages)
  • Accelerated development chambers (if not)
  • Battle dress. Armor or fatigues, metal bikinis for the women.

Clones #2

Further plotting

Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Saturday 10 of October, 2009 06:32:19 EDT by CapellaNovafyre.

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