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The kidnapper always spellchecks twice

CutThe life of a supervillain is one of constant discipline in many ways. The one that comes to mind today is how as soon as I take an innocent hostage that I intend to exchange for ransom, I must train myself to send off a ransom note that very day, without excuses and without delay. We present this in the spirit of facilitating diligent study from the best models of ransom notes, discussed in this article at some small length, as well as by jotting down notes of what happens when defective and badly-constructed notes go out.

So often we hear of people who do only 90% of the job, allowing their hostages to pile up without doing the necessary paperwork to demand the payment in the end. They are probably incurring extra expenses housing and feeding victims in their facility for no gain, or else wiping them out before the deal is completed, largely so as not to have to compose the required correspondence. As personal as the ransom note is, too, invariably those fiends who slough the chore off to an underling are dissatisfied with the results, which ultimately casts a pall on the entire caper when the relatives are presented with something they can barely make out, or has confusing and contradictory instructions. The knack of attending to all the niggling little details of one’s work is something that is best cultivated early in one’s evil life, and no place is better to start than excelling at ransom note writing. One learns this as a young henchman working one’s way up through the ranks of apprenticeship to a high quality evildoer who recognizes the importance of attention to task.

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