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Nasty bidness

Compared to most of the things we evil masterminds challenge ourselves to do, the art of How to peddle evil products seems like child's play. And it is, in some ways, since you don't need to wear body armor, learn complicated curses, or shift the orbits of planets, not unless you want to. In a way, however, the biggest challenge to the committed villain is psychological: it can seem too easy to ruin the lives of so many while making a fortune, and a bad guy from an underprivileged background can tie himself up in knots trying to find the catch.

The fact of the matter is that this is the way the business system in Western society is actually supposed to work. Well before you came on the scene, geniuses with a vision of how the world could be their oyster crafted the rules of economic activity which is like a comfortable warm bath for evildoers, generally even after their crimes have been laid bare.

True story: I once had a thriving company producing a product which millions of people craved, at higher and higher cost (both monetary and health), which cost a pittance to manufacture, distributed through a multiplicity of channels which could never all be shut down. I was able to delegate much of the detailed recordkeeping and other tedium to my lieutenants while I spent most of my attention opening up new markets to dominate. I never had to get my hands dirty. In the end, however, I sold the whole moneymaking machine to an up-and-coming gangster (having liquidated all my trusted lieutenants along the way) in order to concentrate on my many other projects, rather to the displeasure of some of my associates. In the end, I had grown to realize that though I could bring millions to the embrace of death with smile upon their faces, it wasn't sheer numbers of victims that I truly desired, but the quality of their demise. For I never quite found a way when I could personally experience the excruciating devastation that my little marketing pyramid was wreaking, and it turned out that that was more important to me.

Eh, whatever. Go out and poison them all and have a jolly good time at it. Just leave a few for the rest of us, won't you?

Grinning Skull
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