This is Tikiwiki v2.2 -Arcturus- © 2002–2007 by the Tiki community Sun 17 of Nov., 2019 11:11 EST
Blog: Perfectly, deliciously evil
Description: The blog for the evilhow.com wiki, dedicated toward the advancement of evilcraft by supervillains and malignant geniuses of all sorts.
Created by GrinningSkull on Fri 12 of Sept., 2008 22:00 EDT
Last post Mon 22 of Oct., 2012 21:50 EDT
(206 Posts | 158126 Visits | Activity=2.00)
Find:

Take that, Mrs. Macombe

Now I was never one much for paying attention to school so when the wiki topic on How to reduce a school to rubble came along I was like "Ooh, yeah I can do that!" And it turns out that when you think about it for half a second or so, the more you realize that your average school is barely hanging on as it is, so it is like so easy to just kick the legs out from under it and let it crash down, hard. And wouldn't that just be too bad for those chalk-covered wretches like old, bow-legged third grade teacher with her evil eye (and I don't mean that in a good way) and her nest of hair and her miserable sorry excuse for a public speaking voice, who never once let me forget how those multiplication tables were an enemy I would not and could not defeat. And I am still here, and where is your school now, is it where it belongs, do you think?

Capella

New ways with rolling stock

I know Capella was going to post something up on the Wiki — isn't that right, girl? — but I thought it would be fine to jump the queue by posting something I call How to kill people with a train when you are out of rope. It is for villains who have access to a railway switchyard and an allergy to polypropylene.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

What can I say?

I have been invited to speak at the next gathering of Kakos Transpolitikos, the well-known group of malefactors and mischief-makers. I was a little surprised because I haven't been a member of theirs (time commitments) and would like to know if anyone out there in the group could give me a better idea of what to expect. I do so wish to make a bad impression from the outset.

You know what I mean.

I was thinking of retooling my old standby speech It's only genocide, or maybe I can put together something new about radioactive torture methods. It is a matter of discerning what is stale and tired versus what is trendy and unfamiliar, I think. Also I was hoping that I would be able to convince the organizers that I could demonstrate something during whatever presentation I give, and whom to contact to make the necessary arrangements. It will involve a small quantity of antimatter and I thought it would be prudent to clear things in advance.

It may be that they will be taping the speeches, and wouldn't it be nice to be able to post something here from YouTube? More soon, I hope.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

Nasty bidness

Compared to most of the things we evil masterminds challenge ourselves to do, the art of How to peddle evil products seems like child's play. And it is, in some ways, since you don't need to wear body armor, learn complicated curses, or shift the orbits of planets, not unless you want to. In a way, however, the biggest challenge to the committed villain is psychological: it can seem too easy to ruin the lives of so many while making a fortune, and a bad guy from an underprivileged background can tie himself up in knots trying to find the catch.

The fact of the matter is that this is the way the business system in Western society is actually supposed to work. Well before you came on the scene, geniuses with a vision of how the world could be their oyster crafted the rules of economic activity which is like a comfortable warm bath for evildoers, generally even after their crimes have been laid bare.

True story: I once had a thriving company producing a product which millions of people craved, at higher and higher cost (both monetary and health), which cost a pittance to manufacture, distributed through a multiplicity of channels which could never all be shut down. I was able to delegate much of the detailed recordkeeping and other tedium to my lieutenants while I spent most of my attention opening up new markets to dominate. I never had to get my hands dirty. In the end, however, I sold the whole moneymaking machine to an up-and-coming gangster (having liquidated all my trusted lieutenants along the way) in order to concentrate on my many other projects, rather to the displeasure of some of my associates. In the end, I had grown to realize that though I could bring millions to the embrace of death with smile upon their faces, it wasn't sheer numbers of victims that I truly desired, but the quality of their demise. For I never quite found a way when I could personally experience the excruciating devastation that my little marketing pyramid was wreaking, and it turned out that that was more important to me.

Eh, whatever. Go out and poison them all and have a jolly good time at it. Just leave a few for the rest of us, won't you?

Grinning Skull

The other cabinet

Down in my den, next to one of my long gun lockers, I keep a cabinet of my hate. In it I have small little mementos of the wounds and insults, the petty and the monstrous, both past and to come, each one distilled down to the very purest essence of outrage. Some have dates attached, addresses, coordinates. There, too, I keep a well-tended collection of triumphs over the cretins who opposed me and tried to keep me down, here a small sack of ash, there a crystal vial, and down below a tarnished and twisted locket.

I have kept my cabinet of hate a long, long, long time. Sometimes it starts to overflow and I have to let some of the wrath out, and I generally do. And when I do, I set to filling in the gaps in the collection like teeth missing from a ruined face until all is in order once again. I excel in tending my cabinet of hate.

Perhaps you have not yet started keeping your own special place to keep your hate, or your ambition, your madness, or your desire. Perhaps it is because you do not possess the necessary talismans of your seeking either through oversight or injustice. Some collectors pin a note in place of the missing item into their collection against the day when it might be obtained, others simply leave it out. In any case, there is really only one indispensable element to a villain's shrine to the past: a mirror.

Grinning Skull

Login
Login as…


 

Standard | Secure