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Blog: Perfectly, deliciously evil
Description: The blog for the evilhow.com wiki, dedicated toward the advancement of evilcraft by supervillains and malignant geniuses of all sorts.
Created by GrinningSkull on Fri 12 of Sept., 2008 22:00 EDT
Last post Mon 22 of Oct., 2012 21:50 EDT
(206 Posts | 158124 Visits | Activity=2.00)
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They sure beat hell out of Jazz Hands anyway

Many supervillians in formation want to have tongues of flame jetting out of their eyes, out of their mouths (naturally), or out their bottoms (unnaturally), but the person just starting out would be advised to check out this flaming hands (external link) video (5 minutes in length) instead if that person is looking for something which is actually practical. Those other flaming concepts are do-able but probably involve an amount of precision plumbing that the ordinary tinkerer is unwilling to put up with. The flaming cuffs, on the other hand, are reasonably well self-contained, sit at a place where the wielder can keep an eye on them as need be, and still fairly impressive if the user has a gram of showmanship to his or her credit.

This is not to say that the flaming hands are foolproof, as fools are in my experience endlessly creative types. For instance, you might think that you might be able to use the flaming hands at the same time you are throttling a victim, but if you try this, you are liable to find that you would just end up cooking part of yourself along with your intended target. Similarly if you want to display them at a mass rally of your minions, you need to remember that you need a teleprompter with an operator, as you will not be able to read from printed notes without setting the podium alight. Straightforward as the concept is, the prudent mastermind will do well to think through all of the factors before deploying the hands of flame, and plan ahead so as to get the maximum effect from them without boring his or her audience.

Still, I do believe these are a worthy addition to an arsenal. I may begin my campaign to snag a pair by way of holiday gift myself. I do have a couple of thoughts as to spicing things up just a smidge (colored flames, quick cutoff, and right-angle jets are the ones that come to mind immediately) but will defer saying much about these until the plot is fully cooked. So to speak.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

Superbore

Someone asked me what I thought of the news about Superman leaving Earth (external link). The questioner was expecting, presumably, that I would reply with glee that such a high-profile goodnik would be ceding a large and juicy target to the forces of evil, giving our side a larger sphere in which to operate. With what surprise he received my response "I. Simply. Do. Not. Care."

I mean, really, how tedious and boring is the very idea. The so-called Man of Steel's franchise just strikes me as tired and shopworn at this point, concerning itself with all manner of trivia utterly beneath the level of interest of myself and of anyone I actually respect. Does no one else see this announcement for what it is: a heroic veneer upon what really amounts to an extended vacation? Please, wake me up when the big lug reappears on the scene, chased back by the threat of teal kryptonite no doubt, presumably with a few hundred dozen digital pictures of his vaunted adventures, which I shall demur at the suggestion of viewing. I do have things of my own to do, important things.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

Read and learn

Operation Pastel is underway here, as you can see. If morale further deteriorates, we are prepared to escalate to Condition Pink.

We note with some satisfaction the preponderance of villains among the 100 Greatest Movie Characters (external link), not that it comes as any surprise. Naturally the villain image is well-suited to a medium which consists of projecting the actor's face four metres or more in height in a pitch-dark room, giving the aura of malevolence all sorts of advantages it is deprived of in, say, summer stock theatre. If I were inclined to, I would consider endowing an annual award to the greatest depiction of a villain in cinema, in order to refine the definition and separate it from common rogues and criminals, but I am as ever a busy √úbermensch and will leave this worthy labor to my lessers.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

Pass the rump roast

I put up an article about How to serve man to give you all a little time to plan before the holiday next week. This year I hope we don't have to go totally mental about the big event with all the cooking and complicated travel arrangements and putting people and not-quite-people up and who can sit next to who and what should be on the TV, which drives me up the parapet where I have to take something, once or twice, just to cope. No, this time I hope we'll just concentrate on the main thing, which is how everyone is going to sit down and say how great this damn meal is that I planned, and shut up about their stupid problems for a couple of minutes, 'mkay? Cause we haven't really tried that ever, and I would really, really, really like to give it a try this once.

Capella

Worry indeed

Behold the new advertisement for evilHow which you are strongly encouraged to pick up from the promotion page (external link). It depicts a planet in agony owing to the ravages that you, my friend, may soon commit with the help of our helpful and timely tips here. I rather like it.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

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