This is Tikiwiki v2.2 -Arcturus- © 2002–2007 by the Tiki community Fri 22 of Nov., 2019 20:42 EST
Blog: Perfectly, deliciously evil
Description: The blog for the evilhow.com wiki, dedicated toward the advancement of evilcraft by supervillains and malignant geniuses of all sorts.
Created by GrinningSkull on Fri 12 of Sept., 2008 22:00 EDT
Last post Mon 22 of Oct., 2012 21:50 EDT
(206 Posts | 158290 Visits | Activity=2.00)
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Fangs to all my friends

Those who don't know me well sometimes ask rather prying questions about the most prominent features of my physiognomy, not knowing that a pit viper's fangs are a rather sensitive topic, making up in large part the individual's raison d'ĂȘtre and thus not something for idle chitchat. Still, it seems, the curiosity seekers are not to be dissuaded, so I put up a wiki page on the subject. Let us hope that this will settle some of the impertinent questions for once and for all. Read. Learn.

Next it will be about this tongue of mine, I know.

Veeper

Leading the masses around by the nose

What could be more bracing than the distinct scent of fear (external link)? I don't mean the one that one experiences when waking up in the passenger seat of a broken-down car out in the woods, in one's underwear, having lost any recollection of the preceeding eighteen hours. But, rather, the curious miasma rising up from a similarly disoriented hapless captive, an aroma which attaches itself indelibly to the stone walls and other surfaces of one's subterranean hangout, sometimes even weeks after the subject has moved on. Those of us in the business could have told these researchers what they wanted to know (though, of course, we would have to kill them afterwards).

"How can I personally benefit from this knowledge?" you may ask. There is a way to harness the smell of terror, but it is by no means as easy as one might guess. For instance, you might imagine that it would be an effective disciplinary tool among one's rank and file, efficiently quashing any tendency toward an undesired behavior exhibited on the part of one among the many. Unfortunately, potent as it is, there are some generally undesirable side-effects upon the morale and proper functioning of the group as a fighting force, for even a whiff of the contagion will cause insufficiently battle-hardened cadres to withdraw from the field and cower in a shelter somewhere where they ought not to be. You might want to deploy it as a terror agent among mass populations in an urban setting, too, but the dosage must be rather elevated to raise the level of fear already present in modern cities, and again it can just lead to a leaden passivity rather than the screaming panic one was aiming for.

Technicians continue to work on the problem in hopes that this can be used in a controlled fashion, but this is still something for the more distant future, I am afraid.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

I need my space, is all

Let me clarify something at the outset: I do not set myself up as a world expert on crushes, having been on the receiving end of a crush in a personal way only relatively few times, and on the dealing end only maybe a few dozen. There are others who have dealt with bigger, more impressive crushes of one sort or another, some of whom are still around to tell about it. But I do have one thing that they don't have: this site, so they can go ahead and give out their own (external link) crush (external link) advice (external link) over on their own sites if they want to.

You discover yourself going head over heels and before you know it, you are in the grip of a powerful crush. What to do? You are tempted to succumb, but something tells you that this would not be in your best long-term interest. The person who is responsible for the situation may not be interested in helping you reason your way out of the predicament. Do you have to let an inconvenient crush derail your visions of global conquest? Well you could, but it would not be very much in keeping with the evil supervillain them, would it?

By the way, An Inconvenient Crush would be a great name for an indie film.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

It just was not meant to be

It is a common misconception that the average supervillain goes around cutting as large a figure as possible, overcoming all opposition by the application of massive force, perhaps compensating for either self-esteem issues or for an excess of narcissism. Nothing could be further from the truth; there are numerous occasions where a measured, somewhat devious approach is just what the evil mastermind must rely upon in order to achieve his or her aims. Nowhere is this more the case than when one is obliged to solve the problem of How to break up with someone regarding an association which has outlived its potential.

Most often you will encounter this situation with a minion who is not quite working out, but who is enmeshed too deeply with your organization to be able to cut loose without trouble ensuing. Other times it will be with a trusted second-in-command or with a consort who does not make the cut (or who may perhaps have been found to be working at cross-purposes to yourself). In any case, the way you carry out what you must will help to define yourself for what you are: a thoroughly unregenerate piece of work.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))

You meet all kinds of weirdos in this business, I tell you

So I knew this guy who was practically obsessed with himself, and specifically How to cast giant holograms of yourself, to the point where everybody just had a problem coming over to his place anymore. You would ring the doorbell (actually it was a great big brass knocker in the shape of his head, sick, huh?) and instead of him coming to open the door up pops this head of his right out of the rubber doormat, and it would start talking through this little speaker also in the doormat, and the first time this happened you would if you were like most people go "No way!" and start to leave, but then the head would call after you and give you grief about leaving.

I don't know, it was something about not having enough equipment to project his entire body, just his head, but if that were all you would think he still would have been able to project the thing up closer to most folks' eye level instead of down near their knees, which is understandably unnerving especially for the ladies wearing short dresses or whatever including yours truly at the time (it was the fashion). And when you went back a second or third time, it always seemed like he was tinkering with the head, making it bigger than life-size or having it jump around where you were standing or whatever, and there would be all this heavy discussion about whether you thought this was better or whether he should leave it that way, when all you wanted to do was to get in the door and have a drink maybe. I mean, like come on.

Don't know what happened to this head guy, maybe someone took a dislike to him and popped him eventually. But if his cheesy setup is out there, don't you get caught making the same mistakes he did, and instead read all about How to cast giant holograms of yourself first so that the other villains won't talk. That would be my advice.

Capella

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