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Blog: Perfectly, deliciously evil
Description: The blog for the evilhow.com wiki, dedicated toward the advancement of evilcraft by supervillains and malignant geniuses of all sorts.
Created by GrinningSkull on Fri 12 of Sept., 2008 22:00 EDT
Last post Mon 22 of Oct., 2012 21:50 EDT
(206 Posts | 157998 Visits | Activity=2.00)
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Oh don't bother looking for me - I'll find you

When the world is against you and things aren't going your way, maybe with hordes of nasty pointy spiky things flying at your forces, there comes a time where you just want to retreat to your island fastness and pull the ocean over you and pull the calming waves up over your head. Even if you are still actively in the thick of things, however, the added cachet granted to you by the ominous tag "whereabouts unknown" may well be worth the added effort it takes to build a stealth lair.

The big advantage to hiding a lair which is not on the mainland is the lack of pesky neighbors to peek at what you are doing and possibly inform those over on the other side. If you are the kind of villain who does not mind this enforced isolation, one who actually prefers keeping his or her plans well under wraps instead of out there in the limelight for every layperson to gawk at, this might well be an attractive direction to explore. If you fancy yourself the lord and master of a modern-day Atlantis mighty with arcane power and brimming with unfathomable wealth, then this is definitely worth checking out. As with so many evil schemes, the decision ultimately comes down to matching your individual personality traits to the pros and cons of a specific diabolical workflow.

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The best damn video game you ever saw

It seems like a good time to put up a few simple tips on How to control earthquake faults now, while lots of people are likely to be primed to sit up at the edges of their chair and take notice when the subject comes up. If it seems like these earthquakes near strategic regions of the earth are more numerous now than formerly, it could be completely coincidental. But I'm not saying.

The psychological importance of buffeting your victims through the soles of their feet is easy to underestimate, given the relatively light damage a small temblor is going to produce all things considered. It is something which goes back, however, to the primitive mind of a primate ancestor spending lots of time in trees where things can be shaky. This gives the enterprising supervillain enormous leverage over the higher brain functions of a population who can feel tremendously incentivized to give in to your unreasonable demands forthwith.

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I'll give you the hint you need, if you'll just stand still

The mission of an evil supervillain is at times that of an educator, often benefiting pupils who neither pay tuition nor bring in grant money. Such an endeavor is made somewhat easier when one has the proper materials ready at hand, which can be difficult even in this age of e-commerce, thus leading to our newest feature for the evildoer: How to make a cluestick. Search as one might, there are precious few reputable cluestick dealers still in business at this time, and it is even difficult to locate local craftsmen who can produce a custom cluestick to one's specifications at a price that is not exorbitant.

Fortunately, the basics of cluestick crafting are not beyond the abilities of anyone who has a can-do attitude and a basic level of mechanical aptitude. Usually the first few attempts by a tyro I have noticed to be of a quality one would term "barely usable." Still the beauty of the implement is that its lesson is basically completely imparted when one is seen brandishing it with malicious intent, lessening the handicap of unoptimized serviceability. Most craftsmen who apply themselves to improving their cluestick manufacturing capabilities improve over time so that they will soon find themselves able to turn out specimens of near museum-quality fit and finish however, several specimens of which I have personally had the pleasure of owning in my collection.

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Nothing to lose but their aspirations

Suppose you have just exerted your iron will to conquer a good chunk of land filled with inhabitants that you would like very much to do your bidding. Once all the shooting and bombing is over, the borders have been closed off, and you have installed your puppet as the civil authority, your work is by no means done, for you must still make plans for How to extinguish all hope among the survivors.

Recently I heard a graduation speech quote the old platitude where there's life there's hope. This dictum points out the potential trouble if those against you are immortal beings; who have little doubt in their minds as to whether there will be "life" to look forward to. It seems to me that in those cases the best approach is to emphasize the unrelieved misery of drudgery and pointlessness under your thumb so that immortality will reveal itself as a curse.

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Intelligent belly-button lint, oh my!

It is just a matter of time before our mechanized gadgets start to figure things out for themselves and run things themselves, in my opinion, so it would be good to know how to be on their good side when this comes about. The key is that unlike most dealings with finite beings, when it all comes down, you will not be able to count upon faking it, so deeply enmeshed will they be in your every thought, so it is important not to have to fake your sincerity then. I have personally invested a good deal of time and effort into fostering the Singularity over the years, which I now present for your edification.

Of all the challenges, I think that powering my intelligent robots might have been the most tricky to address. Using the power of sunlight is of course the easiest, but I found it was too easy to wipe out an entire generation of bots with a carelessly placed throw rug. Radionuclide-fuelled heat engines were initially promising but the trouble was in provisioning the refined fuel in remote regions. I finally ended up with a lovely little design that herded, then consumed microscopic organisms of their own. It was too bad that my microscopic robotic farmers ended up being too peace-loving to make very effective Singulatarians and had to be annihilated.

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