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How to deal with holy warriors

German Porcelain of Roman Emperor
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*Evil plotpoints

  1. Identification. How can you tell if a combatant you encounter is invested with an opposing spiritual program? These fellows come creeping out of the woodwork when you least expect them and make a beeline for you loudly proclaiming the moral decay they see in everything you do. They may shine with an unearthly glow caused by minute particles of filth being repelled from their persons, and they may move in an unnatural balletic fashion an inch or two above the actual surface of the earth. You may observe them doing such things as slaughtering innocents or torching villages, which you should not mistake for the actions of a fellow evildoer, as they do these extreme acts nearly always in the name of great justice and perhaps under the direction of a vengeful god, not on their own.
  2. Shadow your opponent. A close understanding of the weaknesses and tendencies of the do-gooder is essential if you are to formulate a strategy for neutralizing the threat. Surveillance either through the meticulous notes of your intelligence assets or through electronic means will allow you to draw up a list of needs and wants peculiar to the psychology confronting you. Even better, of course, is access to brainwaves and hormone levels, generally available only if the person can be taken captive.
  3. Distractions. There is often so much hysteria about the moral case against yourself that you can ramp up the noise usefully to shatter the calm resolve of your enemy. A fake prophecy centered around some commonplace artifact can lead them into a time-wasting side quest. A holy-seeming amulet can be promoted as your worst fear only to come up short in the big battle. Also, it is always a good use of time to work on their sidekicks whether to increase expectations to an unsustainable degree or to sow doubts about the proper fruits of their devotion. Anything that subtracts from a laser-like focus on the fight between you and the holy warrior works in your favor.
  4. Play off the rivals. There is a rich ecosystem surrounding every life pattern, both for yourself and for your opponent, which will both feature valuable tensions and currents to exploit. If you can find another fanatical sort among the warrior's midst you can try to incite a holier-than-thou war between them ideally destroying them both. Conversely, you may find one or more among your own associates and henchmen whom you can use to divert the holy warrior's attention at some key moment. Thus you employ the obsessions and inclinations of your antagonist to your own ends.

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! Strokes of genius

  • Dirtify things. This tip works best in the case of holy warriors with a devotion to a highly structured moral code. The idea is to step up the trappings of evil in your behavior to the point where you can convince him or her that the very purity they possess keeps them from stooping to the level of combatting you. Ideally you can impart so much of a sense of degradation to everything you touch that simply walking into the same room as you would become an intolerable burden to this holy, holy individual, thus sparing you from actual combat. As a bonus, catapults loaded with your discarded personal effects become effective siege weapons.
  • Encourage overconfidence. If you can build hidden defenses the opposition may blunder into, you may profit from an appearance of panic on the part of your minions, to the extent of appearing to cower in the face of their advance. Some villains report success by contriving to have one of their henchmen fall into the clutches of the avenging army, there to spread disinformation and cause other mischief. If you want them to enter by means of a particular portal among the different entrances to your lair, that would be the place to decorate with the trappings of your sloppy decadence and shocking moral laxity, as their scouts will likely be so hypnotized by the details that they may well overlook your column poised to issue a crippling counterattack elsewhere.

!! Traps for mere fools

  • Asiatic dragons. Remember, these are the kind devoted to good, not the other kind.
  • Hidden sympathizers.
  • Third degree holy water burns.
  • Inconvenient prophecies.
  • Overly body-baring armor.

Chinese Holy Warrior

+ Precious and needful

  • Cursed weaponry. The only proper item to fight a holy sword is another enchanted weapon dedicated to the principle of evil. Lay in a good stock of these in case you are called upon to defend yourself on the spur of the moment, and make sure you have a system to let you know which ones are fully charged.
  • Surgical gloves. For use when you need to handle holy artifacts. Choose non-latex gloves if you are prone to allergies.
  • Wood-panelled den of iniquity.
  • Tacky neon lighting.



Further plotting



Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Tuesday 02 of October, 2012 09:24:45 EDT by GrinningSkull.

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