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You pull all the strings, and there are a LOT of strings Dirty deeds |
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How to control the governments of the world

****Privacy and ControlTime to get serious now. If you have decided that you need to tap into the power that makes history happen, you need to be aware that this is not some little sideline you can run while you are waiting for your other evil brainchild to develop. It is a taxing thing to be the power behind the nations of the world, and you need to ask yourself if you are the kind of villain who can commit to making the kinds of sacrifices needed to attend to all the strands of intrigue which need to be coordinated. By "sacrifices" we do not mean human sacrifices, at least not exclusively, but rather the gratification that comes from being a dreaded and despised Dark Lord known to all, the pleasure that public acts of cruelty can bring, the pride in a gigantic, impregnable fortress, in short the kinds of things that the vast majority of evildoers of your caliber aspire to. Instead, if you can content yourself with a drab behind the scenes demeanor, one without crowds of retainers and lackeys, you can find that your inward serene satisfaction can take the place of outward displays of might.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Research. If you have a hundred world leaders, you need to have a hundred dossiers on vulnerabilities and capabilities at your evil fingertips, another thousand analyzing the situation on the ground for each major population center in each country, and maybe ten thousand for the ministers, rivals, spies, and financiers exerting significant influence. Given that you cannot really afford to trust anyone to do this research for you, let alone the huge staff that would really be best at digesting the mountains of data, one is best advised to cultivate the traits of both superintelligence and a disdain for rest.
  2. The principle of leverage. It really does not take too much digging to find out what a person is most afraid of, what their hidden shames are, in short, what their control system responds to.
  3. Enlightened self-interest. Just as a hound is drawn unerringly to the invisible spot on the sidewalk where some other dog has been before, the successful suborning power behind the thrones must have an instinct pointing him or her to the thing that animates world leaders to do the things they do.

! Strokes of genius


  • Tap into the network. In world government, as in evilcraft, there is a hidden network that links all the key participants at lightning speed. Some experts suppose that a transceiver the size of a rice grain is implanted within hours after each one assumes power, but this is something we cannot confirm here.
  • Management. Flowcharts (external link), contact lists, codebooks, all of these need to be handled carefully and efficiently in the bowels of your secret command center. Scratch paper and sticky notes are really not up to the job, so it is much preferable to invest in a professional grade of personal information management software.

!! Traps for mere fools

  • Past their shelf life. In the United States, officials who are serving out the last bit of their term before being replaced are known as "lame ducks," not because they are temptingly appetizing little morsels, but because they are bereft of whatever power or influence they once had, the same way an injured waterfowl loses its power and influence.
  • Ideological hangups. Is there a person of influence you actually like or admire, either for their style or their ruthlessness? Doesn't matter, they have to take the cure along with the rest of the flock. Same goes for the ones you find smarmy or just unpleasant to mind-control. Trust me, it works better this way.
  • Dead zones. Poor coverage of transmitters away from urban areas (over the ocean, for instance), have backup means to maintain control.

+ Precious and needful

  • Vast television network.
  • Intracranial implant technology.
  • Subterranean complex.

Dancing Girls of the North

Further plotting



Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Tuesday 14 of July, 2009 21:41:13 EDT by GrinningSkull.

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