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How to cast giant holograms of yourself

****Clearly Holofernes (external link) would have done better if he had the ability to cast a huge picture of himself, frightening his targets into submission. (Also if he could stay clean and sober afterwards.) Learn from the Assyrian general's mistake, impress your allies, and terrify your foes with this simple and rewarding little trick.

We are assuming here that you are interested in huge, luminous, interactive, animated holograms of your fearsome form here, not the tabletop static busts to adorn your lair. Not that there's anything wrong with that other kind, which are technically simpler to boot, but perhaps a little less useful as a demonstration of your superadvanced technological prowess these days.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. On camera. Remember that the giant holographic projection will magnify every little detail of your features, so you may want to spend a few moments in the makeup chair beforehand.
  2. The site. Good guys, who usually are intent on projecting a calm, competent image, like to have bland, homey backgrounds behind them as they speak, thinking that this will help concentrate the mind of the viewer on their words. Evil overlords have much less interest in this kind of thing, and know that throwing a few forked flames or wreaths of greasy smoke can sometimes do a better job of conveying their brand than the actual words they are uttering (which are oftentimes in a language the target cannot understand anyway). If you design a good set for your holographic broadcasts, you will be able to use it for a long time to come, either as a recording studio or as a plush torture chamber.
  3. The projector. If you are the head honcho around, it is no problem setting up and tweaking the holographic projection setup for maximum effect. If you are the rising dark star, however, you need to plan this part of your operation as carefully as any other, in order to gain the maximum disruptive effect. Perhaps you can house your powerful lasers and power supplies in a covered truck, having them pop up just at showtime, with minions fanning out to protect it for the duration of your holographic manifestation. Or you might prefer to stage the whole works from the comfort of low orbit (though remember that in space, no one can hear you rant).

! Strokes of genius


  • Negotiation. Giant holograms are quite good when used in connection with parleys with your enemy, as it spares you the risk of being betrayed, killed, or captured. Not so good at flinging down your list of demands, however, so study your script well beforehand.
  • In dawn's early light. The giant warrior image can be an effective psy ops weapon in diminishing the morale of the enemy before the great battle. Alternatively, some prefer to capture and broadcast pictures of human shields or of giant vats of biological agents lying in store for the attackers.
  • Other uses. An animated hologram with a recorded voice persuading people to make a disastrous decision is also useful, particularly if you want to continue your evil campaign from beyond the grave. At the very least, if the circumstances of your disappearance are sketchy enough, it will give the planners pause as they ponder the question Alive or dead? when considering their next move against your forces.

!! Traps for mere fools


  • Poor presentation. Some say that the laser adds ten pounds. It also reveals every threadbare patch of clothing and stray split-end strand of hair in gargantuan relief. There is a fine, fine line between looking fearsome and looking absurd, and this is one few villains are well prepared to cross in their holographic presentations. So invest a bit in your look, get someone knowledgeable about what you are trying to accomplish to give your image a hard look, and put your best look forward.
  • Poor interactivity. Novices at holographic messages sometimes have problems with timing, especially if the thing is recorded in advance. Be aware that circumstances can shift unexpectedly beneath your feet and try not to insert phrases which are too specific if you do not have an outcome which is already set.

+ Precious and needful

  • Professional lighting. Photographers know that if you can light it well, it can make the camera seem to be twice what you paid for it, and it is the same way for holographers.
  • Makeup. Keep it tasteful though, or you might end up looking like a silent movie star in 3D.
  • Teleprompter. Holding your list of evil ultimata.



Further plotting



Created by: CapellaNovafyre. Last Modification: Saturday 16 of May, 2009 12:01:09 EDT by CapellaNovafyre.

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