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Just piling up the wealth, because you can. Lucre |
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How to become the richest being in the Solar System

****Roman coinsAmong our favorite motivations for being an evil villain, it is hard to beat filthy lucre. With enough money you can have things created or destroyed that would be troublesome to create or destroy yourself; instead of doing these things yourself, you can simply pay to have it done for you (and delivered as well). The power of having paid subordinates!

Some economic philosophers would quibble about the possibility of there being one economic agent possessing all value in a given market, saying that as there is no opportunity for exchange, the market cannot assign a true value. These scholars ignore the power of subtraction: if everyone else is dispossessed and you are not, then you are clearly the wealthy one, regardless of whether a unique monetary value can be placed on your worth.

Tangible and intangible assets: the former refers to things like gold, diamonds, hundred dollar bills, giant robots. These are things which you need to think about putting somewhere. Intangible assets don't take up space, but need still to be maintained lest they lose value through things like obsolescence.

The price of an asset is set by the level of desire for it, thus you will often find that in the process of pursuing your wealth, you are driving up its cost to you. Try to avoid this by cornering the market in a commodity that has only little demand, in stealth, revealing the extent of your holdings only after it is too late for everyone else.

Elsewhere (external link) it has been noted that vast riches can accrue to an investor who can allow compound interest to work its magic. The converse, however, is also true: if you are the one lending at compound interest, over the long, long run this can work powerfully against your own desire to amass all the wealth, if you structure the deals poorly. The safest thing is to make sure you slip in a clause allowing you to confiscate the accrued funds after a decent amount of time.

*Evil plotpoints


Four strategies to become incredibly wealthy:
  1. Steal or create? Find the current holders of wealth, kill or defeat them and take their stuff.
  2. Pump out the tide. Find a whole bunch of not-so-rich people, kill or defeat them and take all their stuff.
  3. Corner the market. Find something of great value that no one else currently possesses (an enormous gem, an inexhaustable source of energy, whatever), make off with it.
  4. Print your own. Take over a state that can print its own money, siphon off from the goods and services produced by the country and from the inflows of wealth. Advantage is that you can have as many digits in your balance as you wish.

! Strokes of genius

  • Corner the market. One time-honored means of rising to the top is to establish a stranglehold on some necessary good or commodity that everyone in the world needs, and tax the flow of that thing out to all the consumers.
  • Create a need. Sometimes if you combine two simple evil ideas, you come up with a scheme with true synergy. For instance, try letting loose a plague that causes painful disfiguring lesions to bare skin and let it be known that you happen to have a stock — a finite stock — of the antidote, which you are willing to part with for the right price. Not only will you become the rich abomination you seek to be, you may even find that you have inspired a sort of admiration among some of your victims! This kind of irony is well worth savoring.
  • Conspicuous consumption. You may want your cursed name in the throats of everyone in the stellar neighborhood, but how will they know unless they have heard of you. Put together a saturation media campaign bringing word of you and your titanic wealth to everyone. Send missionaries to those too poor and backward to have mass medias. You may want to consider an orbiting space platform bearing your logo on all sides

!! Traps for mere fools

crown,tiara,bling,ruby,diva,queen,princess
  • Value comes from scarcity. So if you invent a scheme to become rich by turning seawater into gold, you may discover that in the end you have merely made yourself just as well off as anyone else on the planet you just ruined. Do not pay attention only to the size of your own coffers, spend an equal amount of thought to despoiling the coffers of everyone else.
  • Don't neglect basic villany. If you spend all your time worrying about your wealth, don't leave yourself open to the assassin's blow or to instilling fear in the population; these are still important.
  • Mortgage-backed securities. Don't be ridiculous. Nobody gets rich that way.

+ Precious and needful

  • Space. Cash takes up a lot of room, precious metals somewhat less, and things like plutonium less room still. If you keep your wealth in physical form (and somehow there is almost always some kind of physical medium backing one's wealth), think about how dense (external link) in the monetary sense your material backing is.
  • Play ball. No matter how much money you have, you can keep yourself occupied by owning a major sports team or two. Play dirty, negotiate in bad faith, and extort local politicos — it is wonderfully bracing as a way to stay in shape.

Skull Rings

Further plotting




Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Friday 11 of September, 2009 07:19:51 EDT by GrinningSkull.

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